Best part about Experience SOKA
There were lots of things that most people would expect me to say. “Oh, the campus was the best!”, “The food was really good”, or “To sit in classes.” Or even “The people were special here.” And all these things are true for me. I have no hesitation in telling people these things, since they come so easily to the tongue. But I find myself editing out the smaller details. They aren’t noteworthy by themselves, but are only an experience. A feeling. And explaining these things to people takes time. Or they would not truly understand, or appreciate what it is that made it special to me. Even now, it’s difficult.
By nature, I like to write poetry to express these small moments. But I myself don’t understand why some moments meant anything to me - how can I share something so vague? So I’ll just tell you, in the best way I can.
On the 8th, I woke up at around 6am with the specific intention of watching the sunrise. It was too cold for me, however, and I went back to bed to wake up about an hour later. I got outside - the grass was dewy, the sun was shining on the wet stone. There was a cold breeze coming in, but I didn’t really notice it - it was just there. Fresh. I was tired before, but out there, I felt wide awake, and open. I watched the flowers, waiting for the first bee to arrive. I watched the mountains change colours - they change as the day passes - and listened to the bird song pierce the stillness. No one else was awake, you know - it was too early for most people. Most of the window shades were closed, so I guess people were still sleeping, or too tired to leave their rooms like I was earlier. I walked by the lotus ponds. The water was shining in the light of the sun, and so was the surrounding stone. Don’t you like the look of things after a night storm passes through? I also like how the flowers don’t open up until much later in the day. Like the day hasn’t really started yet, and that there’s that time between the opening and closing of flowers that feels removed from yourself, and the dictation of the day’s schedule or whatever it is that preoccupies people. I felt freedom. I feel this way when I walk around my neighborhood around midnight, when the moon’s out and the lights from the nearby houses are out. Or when the hallways at my school are empty while classes are going on.
That morning, when I sat by the lotus ponds to watch the flowers, I felt emptied out of ego. Why do I worry? Why do I focus on myself, and pass things such as this off as “nothing”? But everything that morning was alive. Just there, doing its own thing. The sleeping people were a part of that moment too - they were in some other place, removed from themselves. Kinda in a primal state. Everything was like that. And that, I would say, is the best part about my time at SUA. Because it has been a while since I felt so happy to be alive.
